Cash Flows

Yo, Chubby

2011-04-17T10:48:00.000-05:00

I grew up skinny. I was the "runt" of my class, a little bitty dude with bad teeth and skinny, skinny arms. My mom used to hold my forearms in just one hand and comment on how skinny I was and that she was worried about me. One day, I got fat and felt good about it.

I recall eating everything I could find as those skinny, worried comments really stuck with me. Then I got fat, then fatter, then even fatter. What could have been passed off as a mere childhood worry morphed into a real live adult worry. After retiring from the bmx scene and opting for the academic and work world, I ballooned up like a free range tick. At the top of my fat acquisition program, I was up to nearly 245 lbs. That is basically two people in just one body, hence, my multiple personalities.

I made a decision about 75 days ago to change my life, my outlook, and my chances. It is working wonderfully and I am so please with my results and my new lifestyle. At times, I get to eat whatever I want. I can have a frosted funnel cake fiesta with cheese and cream gravy every so often as long as the other 90 percent of the time I am living a healthy lifestyle. It works. In just a couple of months I am down well over 20 lbs and a couple of dress sizes! My multiple chins are decreasing. I am getting healthy, not skinny and I love how it feels. I can do it.

So, I've listened to modern doctors, philosophers, and diet product salesmen tell me how bad off we are in the United States. They say we are in an epedemic of fat, diabetes, and choice related disease. The government, in their wisdom, initiated health insurance because of all the uninsured and sick people. Ha. I scoffed with great scoffiness. Surely these people are wrong....uh oh, I just got back from the beach in Port Aransas.

THE STUDY: BASED ON REAL SCIENCE AND MATH:

I decided to check the stats. I had to walk a bit from my car to the funnel cake stand as we approached Sand Fest 2011. I would make a count of people that were:

1. Over 30
2. Did not appear to have just had a child
3. Males and Females randomly
4. Chubby went into the "healthy" category, really fat went into the "fat category".

Here is what I found out: The government is right, we cannot OR will not take care of ourselves, so they need to do it for us. I am part of the problem, but I repent. I reject bad health as a choice. Here are what the numbers showed me and I am disgusted:

104 Sample People

78 Were grossly spilling out of their swimsuits and looked like three quarts of marshmellow fluff in a two quart pan.

26 Were chubby or less, with some actually appearing to be athletic. I did not count skinny kids of which I used to be one too.

About 75% of the beach population has chosen to live a less than fulfilling life, or a life with less health.

What is bad health and good health? Is good health just a lack of disease or symptoms? Nah, good health is something up the scale a bit where you are strong and feel good. Bad health is something less than zero on the scale. We need to choose good health. We need to treat the causes of our diseases where possible, and not treat the symptoms.

Tomorrow I start another 24 day advocare challenge with the people in my life. This time, I am stepping it up a bit and I don't even know what that means. We are also starting "40 DAYS OF PRAYER" at The Solomon Group. We sit around and pray with each other over our lives, our family, and our goals. Those 40 days end about May 27. If I hit my goals, and Audrey hits her goals, here is how May 28th plays out:

8:00 a.m. Limo picks us up and takes us to breakfast at Kerby Lane

8:45          Head to the local shopping to shop like a rockstar. Audrey gets 10 new outfits along with all relevant bling, shoes, hats, etc. I get a new wardrobe as well.

12:00        Noon Limo takes us to Dave and Busters (Audrey's Fave!) where we have lunch and play games for a couple of hours

2:00           Head to local Apple store: Audrey, Katy, Jenn, and I get to each purchase one item of our choice.

3:00          Finish shopping requirements

5:00           Limo takes us all to dinner at Melting Pot

7:00          Movie

9:00          Ice Cream

9:30          Limo Driver is exhausted and gets to go home!

It is a good goal, and I am eager to succede. Girls, this is for you.

I am so thrilled that we live in a country where we still have a choice to the outcome of our lives. Take that choice and make it count.

Cash Matthews

Wow, Thanks, 23/68 And Beach

2011-04-08T23:52:00.000-05:00

I need to blog more. It is theraputic for me and for the one of you out there reading this, I am confident that my writing makes you feel better about your own life! There is so much going on here, a blog is a great way to bring it all together and look at your mess from a top down view.

Wow. Almost two years has gone by since we opened the new Solomon Group building, with all of the hopes and dreams so fresh. Today we reached another milestone, at least for me. Without too much fanfare, we made payroll. And rent. And a major website to support our http://www.taxelope.com/ program. And a few other things....not often do I get to pat myself on the back, but for some reason today I am feeling some major relief.

God has blessed us so richly with love, kindness, and opportunity. Our "B.O.N.G. events have flourished and I continue to find myself surrounded by believers who are for us. Our North BONG sold out and had standing room only. One of our goals is to help promote ethical commerce in Austin, and then the U.S. and to help the small business person thrive. Somehow, we seem to be accomplishing these things and I know that all the credit has a Divine origin. I continue to meet individuals who amaze me, and this cannot be an accident.

PEOPLE WHO AMAZE ME!

1. David Temple. Our 2010 Advisor of The Year at The Solomon Group. David is one of the most dedicated learners of our business, and he continues to grow and thrive in ways that truly inspire me. I love his quick wit and his manner around our office. David is truly a team player and someone I admire greatly.

2. Ben Randle. Another outstanding fellow, Ben has grown into a hihg-caliber business person and his ability with people one-on-one is so impressive. He is one of those who you just love when you meet him, and it shows in how people respond to him. We are lucky to have Ben and Tammy as part of our growing company and I look forward to watching him as he has set his sights high for the coming months and years!

3. Kevin Hollemans. Wow. I don't care if you spell WOW backwards or forwards, but Kevin is a WOW factor. This guy is on fire in so many ways, people are showing up just to watch! He is on fire for God, for his family, for his business, and it is so cool to see a man of his caliber making and accomplishing goals. Wow. Did I say wow yet?

4. Jennifer Eskina. Possibly the most talented person I know. Perserverance would be one word for her. Dedicated could fit in there also. Gobs of talent, and all of it is something she has worked for. Tomorrow she will be speaking to hundreds of at risk girls. Her talk is about girls/business and her relationship with God. She juggles so much, and always makes time to do the right thing. Lives get changed tomorrow, and there are going to be kids who will benefit their whole lives through after this program at First Independant Baptist Church. Jenn, you are THE MAN!

God has put so many great people in my life, and I am thankful for them all.

Ok then, this is day 68 and I am still down 23 lbs and a bunch of dress sizes. Well, belt loop holes! I feel better too, which is nice. I didn't realize I was just a decision away.

Tomorrow I am off to the beach house to do some work. Sand Fest is coming up. Wanna come and play?

Goodnight Sarah and Audrey...It is impossible to say how much I love you both.

Woof. I am a lucky dog.

Above: Audrey....wow, super cute !

Above: Me with Sarah at Port A...No fish,but an excellent time!

Above: Jennifer Eskina, SGI Executive VP, a rare photo of her NOT working or saving the day!

Girls! Lots and lots of girls!

Fat Party

2011-03-25T16:43:00.000-05:00

Mark the date...April 18, we are getting a crew of folks together who might like to encourage each other and do the "24 Day Challenge" at the same time. It would be amazing if we could get 100 people to do the challenge with us and if we each lost 10 lbs, that would be 1000 pounds!

The 24 day challenge info can be found on Katy's Advocare site at www.advocare.com/08044226

Join us for better health!

This is day 50 or so for me with the new lifestyle change. Just yesterday I tried on a shirt that two years ago was much too small. Yesterday, I wore the heck out of that shirt. Yes, it fit. Ahhhhh............I am doing this.

People I Love!

2011-03-14T19:50:00.000-05:00

David and Windy Temple...David was our Advisor of the Year for 2010!

I am so blessed to work with a great group of people. I just want to post their pic here and say a few things about them. Mostly, I want to publicly say thanks to those folks who are willing to work with me, support me, or be part of this journey. I love you all, and am honored to be near you.

Pastor Mike Marcellus,(left) First Independent Baptist Church...my close friend and advisor!

Dawn Dotson....Mortgage genius, Wonderful friend!

Donna Haas....Kenny married UP!

Ivette Zuliani...definitely one of the good eggs!

Jackie and Sue Mills...Solomon's MVP for 2010!!!

Jennifer Eskina...Executive Vice President and Master of The Redfish!

Kevin and Shari Hollemans..Director of Money Matters Ministry

Laura Deaton, my life long friend from first grade...

The Hope Award Winner for 2010...she is heroic

Ben Randle, Leonard Rice, David Temple

Fishing 2010

Sunrise Service...The Whole Gang! August 2010

40 days of Prayer Group!

There are many more for whom I do not have photos of, but thanks to all of you who are so fantastic and such a major part of my life. Please know, that if we are friends, I count YOU as a blessing!

Notes From A Former Fatty Fatty Fathead March 14 ,2011

2011-03-14T18:30:00.000-05:00

I am about 42 days or so into this new lifestyle thing and somehow the changes are coming easier each day. I continue to learn about the formation of my habits and the lessons and misseps behind those habits. Not all habits are good, and not all bad habits are that bad either. I am not here to beat myself up,just to share so that I can reflect, and possibly be some help to my family.

When I get stressed, bad food seems to be my "go-to playbook". Wow, it really is "what's eating you, not what you're eating". I thought that was such a silly statement. The last 6 weeks or so have been an awesome learning possibility for me as I continue to work on myself and my business. Each time something has presented itself as a challenge, I have been able to track it backwards to its origin, and to contemplate the feelings and needs behind those feelings. Somewhere along the way, the 8 year old boy turned into a man and that boy still resides somewhere inside me. This period I am in is ME shaking the little 8 year old Me up a bit and making a few changes based on the current me. Make sense?

I have shed about 20 lbs and done so in a gradual and healthy way. However, I am still a tub of goo. I have always been a GREAT starter and a lousy finisher. Don't be impressed by the 20....When I have kept it off for a couple of years and made a few other changes, then we can both pat me on the back. Not until then, however.

I want a long-term win. I want to be the champion of my life. I am making changes, decisions, mistakes, and plans. I have some things I want to accomplish. The music is still in me.

Alrighty then...I have vented for the day. I shall now go watch Beaches and weep openly.

Mattel X 15 tricycle....I wanted one as a kid...well....I am still a kid!

When No Means Yes...

2011-03-14T18:12:00.002-05:00

I am reposting this from a few months ago. It seems topical today for some reason. I re-read what i had written and it had a profound impact on me. I hope you find something here also. Best wishes....from Port Aransas, Texas.

WHEN NO MEANS YES....Reprised

Last Friday night I had the honor of being asked to speak in front of 200 or so young men and women at the First Independent Baptist Church here in Austin, Texas. The pastor of the church, Mike Marcellus asked me to participate with his youth minister, Daniel, in talking to these kids about our testimony and how our lives had been impacted by our faith. My message was a simple explanation of how God has a real plan for each of us, and that sometimes, we hear NO so that sometime later we might hear Yes!

Sometimes No means Yes. Sometimes no means yes in a big way. And most often, that no seems permanent and final, when in fact, it is temporal and directional. Sometimes No means Yes.

I was a kid who wanted a motorcycle. I have mentioned this in other writings, but I am not sure if I accurately explained how much I wanted a motorcycle. My uncle Jerry was a famous motorcycle racer and I wanted to be like him. All the cool kids in our area had motorcycles, I got to go watch motorcycle races, motorcycle motorcycle motorcycle! Yep, I wanted one bad. I would cut out pictures and leave them around the house. My mom or grandmother would ask what I wanted for dinner, I would say, "Honda Mini Trail 70" motorcycle! They got sick of it. In fact, I think secretly they just wanted to see if I would explode at some point if they DIDN'T get me a motorcycle. We couldn't afford a motorcycle, they weren't safe, and blah blah blah blah blah. I want a motorcycle.

I NEVER GOT A MOTORCYCLE. I became a Christian at the age of 13. I thought God somehow was the cosmic order taker of my wants, not really having a mature vision of Him being the Supreme Overseer and guidance counselor. It's sort of why we don't give flamethrowers to 6 year olds I think. He never sent me a motorcycle. I still wake up on birthdays and Christmas and groundhog day and national peanut butter day and other important holidays thinking somehow the universe just might have gotten me a motorcycle. Nah. I ain't getting a motorcycle. NO........

So I did the next best thing and got a bicycle. Yep. Pedals. Schwinn Stingray to be exact. I made motorcycle sounds with my mouth while I rode. I put a playing card up into the spokes for that ultra cool MX motorcycle sound at a fraction of the cost. And a bicycle, not a motorcycle, would make all the difference. I won't go into the inner workings of the sport of bmx, but somehow I got involved in the VERY early stages of a sport that is now on the world staqe being a part of the Olympics. It has a National Hall of Fame of which I am now a member. This year, as the MC of the National BMX Hall of Fame, I get to induct the inventor of the coveted Schwinn Stingray, Mr. Al Fritz. Bicycles seemed to make a big difference for him as well. Yep, I get to lead the party where the inventor of The Schwinn Stingray get's his props. Me. A Kid without a motorcycle. I get to do it. Really? How about that? That is Eskimo cool. Cool in a way that I don't have words for. Gnarly. It is excellent.

God has a plan for our lives. Sometimes, it doesn't become evident till some time later. As I stood on the stage in 2006 accepting my own induction into the National Bmx Hall of Fame, my dad was present in the audience. And at that moment it occured to me, "If I had gotten my own way, this moment may not have ever happened". I spoke to my father there on the spot in a departure from my carefully planned speech and thanked him for NOT letting me get a motorcycle. God has a plan for our lives, and sometimes he uses those around us to make sure His plan gets implemented. I am usually bewildered by life, but this one I am certain of. I've messed up so many times, fallen short so often, and managed to hit the nail squarely on the thumb with a frequency that is quite unimpressive. However, this one did indeed turn out right.

I asked, and No was the answer. It meant Yes to something much greater for me, my family, and my friends who celebrated with me. No can mean Yes---if you let it. Now I get it. Finally

Cash Matthews

It turned out pretty good for me.....Audrey, fishing....this is the good stuff!

Old guy with baby! Fun!!! (September 9, 2008!)

Courage. Discourage. Encourage.

2011-03-10T10:13:00.001-06:00

I have often prayed for courage and God has listened. Unfortunately, the only place you might need courage is when fear is present. So when some post-prayer scary situation happens, I know God is in control, and that He is indeed in control. It took me a while to get what was happening so I prayed for patience.....right after that a little old lady driving about 5 mph pulled in front of me and taught me patience. Whew, God sure has a funny way....His ways are not my ways.

When I am encouraged, I can do anything. Perhaps there is some thing accurate in that mustard seed/faith parable in the Bible. When I think I can win, I often do. As a man thinketh.....

When I am discouraged, I am at my lowest point. The devil knows this and uses this devastating tool to distract me. When someone tells me I am looking good with the new lifestyle, I am encouraged. When I fail to be able to do just 3 simple sit ups (p 90 x style!) I am discouraged and feel worthless. It makes me want to quit. Quitting is so easy. For whatever reason, quitting seems to be the first alternative when things aren't perfect. Why am I that way? Discouragement. And I don't believe it is an accident. How do I fight discouragement?

I have to keep my goals in mind first. The goals keep me moving in the face of discouragement. That little voice that talks inside your head was formed by the time you were 8 years old, and you have to realize that an 8 year old is inside your head making important play calls....grab ahold of that little braniac person and shake him a bit until he sees it your way. Once you decide....the universe opens up to you and for you. I have a decided heart about things. Do you?

The origins of the word "decide" are this: Middle English, from Latin decidere, literally, to cut off, from de- + caedere to cut...

Basically...no other choice but to do the thing....so here I am a little more than a month after "deciding" to change my life. It is working.

If you know me, please encourage me. Let's encourage each other. It is time for me to get past what I used to be and get on with what I am supposed to be. God has a plan for me, and I don't believe 75 pounds over weight was part of that plan. I came up with a new saying for myself...

"WHAT YOU WAS AIN'T WHAT YOU IS"

I am very encouraged today. You be as well. Things are great and only getting better!

Happy Birthday to Jeana Nicely...here is her baby picture!!!

Here is her grown up picture:

Happy birthday, Jeana! What you was ain't what you is either! You are awesome and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Day 31 observations

2011-03-06T21:06:00.000-06:00

The hard stuff gets easier, the good stuff gets better, and it is worth it. However....

It is so easy to slip back into old habits...just a few more minutes of sleep, putting stuff off..etc...I must stay vigilant. I will.

Here are some photos to entertain you!

Me running with Sarah!

I am greatful to have another chance to do things right with my health. I am a week into my 2nd 24 day challenge and am better off for it. Thank you Robyn Pettinger and Advocare!

Day 30 Still Here. Send Cupcakes

2011-03-05T22:36:00.000-06:00

Wow, 30 days later and I am still taking care of myself. For the month I am down about 16 pounds and my strength is increasing!

I am not on a diet. I am just being reasonable. Today I had some popcorn and a couple of reeses peanut butter cups....my favorite dish. I am limiting my bad days to just one a day and just one meal a day and I don't feel any guilt, and I certainly do not miss all the crap I used to eat.

Last Monday we started another 24 day Advocare challenge, and let me tell you, these products are working for us. We are feeling better, losing weight, and making the right changes in our lives. Each day I get up early, try to read a bit, review my goals and my day, then workout for about an hour. By 7:30 a.m. I have accomplished more than I used to get done in a week.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me and want the best for me. Cash will carry on.

This is me just a few years ago....gravity defying fun! I still have the music in me!!!!

Wild Hair Club For Men

2011-02-19T20:32:00.000-06:00

Art Williams, my mentor visionary from the 1980's, coined the phrase "Just Do It". He even wrote a book of that title sometime before Nike stole his idea and invented Michael Jordan. His thesis was to do that thing that was in front of you that you KNEW you needed to do, regardless of your current set of circumstances. He encouraged people to quit talking about stuff and to start doing stuff. Little did he know.

I have always obeyed the creed of "The Wild Hair". Many times, to my detriment, I did exactly as I saw fit and without much regard for what my mom thought and certainly with no regard for what the friends and acquaintances around me thought. It doesn't deserve much detail here, but as a kid, I did stuff. Lots of stuff. As an older kid, I flew my bike out to California and rode back to Oklahoma to see if I could do it. I jumped a train once and rode hundreds of miles with my bike on board, just to see what results I might get.
I built a house when I was about 19 or so becuase it seemed reasonable at the time. I did all kinds of dumb stuff and even some smart stuff. I definitely obeyed the wild hair creed.

As an older, wiser adult, I started a Professional Golf Tour which pretty much broke me financially, but I don't regret doing it at all. And though I took a severe beating on the deal, I would do it again. More recently, I decided to expand my business nationwide, and to start multiple companies under one roof. Wow, was that fun! I like getting in way over my head.

See, I have always believed that God is awesome, and that He is good, all the time. I figure with the creator of the universe having my cosmic back, that not much can go wrong. Ya know, I was right! Even though I have suffered many of my decisions, The Bible mentions that I should "consider it pure joy when I face trials for they serve to strengthen me". God doesn't need to steer a parked car either, so I have often moved forward with my ideas and beliefs.

Is there something you would like to do? Do is a powerful word, and a much more powerful action. To do is to be in harmony with your dreams and goals. It develops your character and your spirit, and it increases your understanding in multiple ways.

If you knew success was guaranteed, what would you attempt?

If you knew you could NOT fail, what would you spend your time doing?

What holds YOU back? Is there a reason, excuse, person, or other thing holding you back from "Doing It"? Seriously. Dig around in there. Most often, I meet people who wish they had done some stuff. Even more often I meet those who are controlled by either their past like a boat anchor or they are controlled by some one else's opinion of them.

Cut the line on both. Neither is real. You can do it. God never made a piece of junk and He certainly doesn't want you to lie around in the vomit of your own past. He does want you to learn from it, and from those previous mistakes comes the wisdom and confidence that you need. America needs you to be brave and bold. My kids need you to be the best YOU that you can be. Your legacy is waiting for you.

Just do it.

Here is a picture of something I created that I am proud of. I was so very scared, but I did it any way. Vacation Business School. God's plan for money and business through the eyes of kids. Everyone talks about taking action and how we need to educate kids....I am so proud that I took action. VBS....2010...

If you would like for your child to participate with Vacation Business School in 2011...let me know....I took action to create the class....all you have to do is say yes! It is FREE for the kids ages 8 to 17! June 2011.

The Wild Hair.....sometimes is pays off!

Day 19. Still In The Game!

2011-02-19T20:07:00.000-06:00

One of the easiest things for me to justify is quitting. I am big boned, I am busy, I am....blah blah blah. Normally, I would have already done that but this time, everything seems different. Perhaps I am just too lazy now to rationalize! So, here is my status:

After 19 or so days, I have lost about 13 pounds, I have exercised regularly, I am gettingh more rest and more water, and a new way of life seems possible. I started with a 24 day challenge and a 90 day goal. The 24 day challenge is almost over and for me, it has been pretty simple, and very doable. Anything believeable works for me. I believe I will continI and make some major changes for the better.

Don't ya hate it when you put something off for like 30 years? I never had a single bad year, just lots of slight errors in judgement. A couple of pounds a year for 30 years and all of the sudden you look like a beached albino whale with a fat lip and a bad haircut. Ok, maybe a little much, but that is what I have felt like lately.

This is from the first day of my new "me". See the # 1 finger? That means day 1. The cool jersey is a remake of an old bmx jersey that my buddy Stu Thomsen and Jeff Ruminer used to wear!

Ok, lets take a look at me after day 10 of the "herbal cleanse" portion....at least i was standing when the picture was taken....the empty box implies my completion of the contents which I actually did do in perfect harmony with the written instructions....really....I took some instructions...no, seriously!

Wow, I gotta stop taking pictures at 6:30 a.m. when my hair is such a mess.

These are some of the new products/food choices I will be making from here on. Most of this is from Advocare, a nationally known nutrition/research company that is wildly endorsed by Drew Brees, Colt McCoy, and numerous other famous people. Katy sells this stuff and it seems to work. You can see more of it at www.advocare.com/08044226 I tried this once before and lost lots of weight and my blood work changed almost miraculously. I can say that I have been the science project that proves this stuff works and can work again! But only if I apply myself...

Spark is the best food I have ever put into my body and I will take it forever. It enhances my energy and gives me sharp mental focus. It doesn't have any weight loss component, but I don't want to go through a single day without it. The rest is nutrition related, etc. I have replaced breakfast with a nutritious shake for the 24 days of the challenge. (Purple box) I am eating well, adding lots of planned snacks (almonds, fruit, nuts, protein bar, drinking more water, and getting more sleep. This seems to be the right formula.

Here is what I looked like at the age of 15:

That's me on the left. All 145 pounds of me. That picture was in a magazine under the title, "Oklahoma Legends", or something like that. I have NOT felt very legendary in quite a long time.

So day 19 was pretty good. I still have lots on me right now, stuff I don't want to blog about or talk about so much. There is much to do, much to be accomplished, and much encouragement around me. I get up early now every day and love being "more awake" to my surroundings. I feel like I just stepped out of the Matrix. More later.

Day 12

2011-02-11T07:50:00.000-06:00

Ever just have a lousy day? I had one yesterday, and was discouraged by life, and a gripey fat head. In fact, it could be suggested that I was a double fooey fatty fatty fat headed fat head. Ok, I have vented, and on with day 12.

Up easily at 5:30. About to do my pushups and cardio stuff. Eating well and taking care of myself seems to get easier as each day goes by. I still have a strong love of popcorn and reeses peanut butter cups. I am treating myself to once a week with a little popcorn and a reeses cup. Right now, even that seems excessive. I have lost a few pounds, but I am not giving much time or credence to weight loss being the predictor of health or wellness. Good health is not just the absence of disease or weight, but something more. I want the something more. There are so many pressures on me with life and business, that good health is essential to survive.

Today I am going to an Advocare "Success School" up in Fort Worth. I am torn about going because I have so much to do here, but I need a break from the day-to-day activities. AND, I need to sharpen myself and these Advocare folks seem to have a good grasp on the right way to build a life, a business, and how to live life on purpose. I have much to learn.

I have taken a stand for my health. For the first time in a long, long,time, I feel pretty good. This is nice. Ok, pushups and cardio....

Day 10 Of Life Change

2011-02-10T17:14:00.000-06:00

Actually, these go to 11. Ok, this is the 11th day forward from when I decided to make a change in my life. It has been awful and wonderful in so many ways.

The Awful: The regret I feel for not figuring this out much sooner

The Wonderful: Almost every other part. I wake up each day at 5:30 a.m., read a Proverb, read my goals, then spend some time on the treadmill. So far I have been early to bed, and early to rise.....

When I figure out how, I will add some pics of this journey and perhaps a http://www.youtube.com/ link.

I just finished a 10 day Herbal Cleanse. This is a product of Advocare and is designed to make things "run smooth" and clear your system out pretty well. I don't want to say how much tonage I dropped from just that, but I was very pleased with the results. As far as the cleanse part of it goes, I will just say this: "Looking back (literally), I don't see anything down there that would be better off inside me" so I will count all of this as a win!

Waking up gets easier. I have been waking up before my alarm goes off.

Exercise gets easier. I can now do 7 pushups instead of 5! I am up to 3.3 mph on the treadmill. Baby steps, right? The one key that is universal was taking a step, getting started. There is never a perfect time to do the right thing better than right now.

Lots of work stuff going on, and lots of the daily pressures of life and business. I have been discouraged a couple of times, but fought through it. Not sure what is next......

Exceptions Are NOT Exceptional

2011-02-04T09:13:00.000-06:00

Today is te 5th day of making a major life decision. Somewhere in here I will finish my last post where I posted my daily intake of nutrition, etc, but today I wanted to jot down some musings on something I see that is a major stumbling block for me. Being exceptional.

Exceptional? You mean super awesome? Like, you ARE exceptional? Like, NO. Like, when you make exceptions to personal rules and codes, you are very NOT exceptional. When you make excuses and believe them, you are on the pathway to destruction. See, some people (my nickname) have made excuses for so long that they now actually believe them and accept this as a normal way of life. Excuseism and Exceptionalism begins so easily and just latches on like a tick, sucking your future out of every pore but rarely causing much pain during the moment. Here is an exception I made today:

"Oh, it is snowing outside, so I don't have to wake up on time". It is just a small exception, but one that a real pro would never make. And at the end of today, it doesn't have that big an impact on the outcome of anything. The real problem lies in the fact that the next time I am faced with honoring a commitment or choosing an easier path, it will become easier to take the easy way out. Winning, toughness, commitment, and success are not a part of the time thing, they are an all the time thing. Did I make a huge error this morning? Nah, if ever there was a great morning to sleep in and have my girls jumping on the bed, today was that day. But if I am not careful, if I excuse my behavior over and over, then losing and excuses become the way of life and success becomes some mystery that appears to be cosmically awarded by the universe, and not to those who seek it. I am in the battle of a life time in so many areas. I want to win them all.

I got back on the horse right after the girls tired of jumping on the bed bonzai style. Today is a good day, full of lessons and possibilities. I choose life.

Wait. Weight.

2011-02-03T17:52:00.000-06:00

So, back for my annual post where I share my brilliance with my keyboard and no one really notices! Today is February 2, 2011 and I am happy to be here.

It is amazing what we learn to put up with. Mark Twain said, "You could learn to like a hot stove if you sit on it long enough". Kevin Bacon said, "Thank you sir may I have another?" Often, our lives become a product of slight errors in judgement to the negative or we win massively by exercising "the slight edge".

Winners do the right thing. Champions do what losers are simply unwilling to do. Professionals know what to do, when and how to do it, and they do it, regardless of how they feel. That is what it takes to live life to the fullest.

With that, I am looking forward to being a loser. To be more clear, I am looking forward to loosing some bad habits and learning some new good ones. I am looking forward to lossing worry and despair, and I am looking forward to a brighter day. See, I have marginalized my health and let myself become a fat tub of goo. Yep. Goo. Slime. Chunky Monkey. Rotund. The Round Mound of Sound. I am all of these AND a crate of Diet Cheetos. I am too fat, and I am ready to make a change.

Just a few days ago, Sunday, January 30, 2011 in fact, I made a decision. I decided to take control of my health and physical life and live on purpose. On that day, I was 5 ft 8, I weighed 235 pounds, had a 40 inch waist and growing. I am on high blood pressure medicine, allergy medicine, and I need to be on cholestoral meds as well. I eat anything and everything I want. So does my family. I have been a lousy leader.

There are so many changes I could make, but I am going to make a few changes right now that will make a difference. I want to do something awesome, and more importantly, I don't want to die with the music still in me. In fact, I don't want to die at all. I want to live, live well, and live on purpose. Here goes.

Day 1. Monday, January 31. Woke up at 5:30 a.m. Wow this sucks. This is where I will start my day from now on. I am not on a diet, I am making a decided lifestyle change. We waste too much time in bed anyway. Here is how I see my average day working out for me:

Up at 5:30. a.m. No Snooze any more. I've spent my whole life snoozing. I am tired of snoozing. The Bible says something like "a little more rest, a little more slumber, a little more folding of the hands, and a bad guy will take all of your stuff...." (Cash's paraphrase) So, every day from now on, up at 5:30 a.m.

5:40 a.m.. I have chosen Advocare products to help me with the nutrition side of my life. They fill in the gaps and enable me to feel and perform better. Start each day with a glass of Spark (nectar of the gods!) and three Catalyst

5:45 Daily Proverb. I must exercise and feed my mind also

6:00 Advocare chocolate meal replacement shake. I am told by my workout mentor, Robyn Pettinger of Bootcamp University, that I need to stimulate my muscles and feed my body with more protein. This gets the job done and sort of ramps me up for the day. For whatever reason, I am not starved nor do I feel famished during the early part of the day.

6:05 a.m. Right now twenty minutes of treadmill, upper body weights (mild) and pushups. I can do 5 pushups. Barely! Next week, I am starting P 90 x and converting my garage to a "man cave". I am starting slow because I always over do it when I make large commitments.

7:00 Shower, etc, spend a few more minutes with Audrey and Sarah and Katy, then off to conquer the world.

Day 1 Diet: Advocare Herbal Cleanse
                    Spark
                    Chocolate shake

snack           protein bar
                    water

lunch

A Shameful Confession

2010-04-08T19:46:00.000-05:00

Often i wonder what is wrong with me. The Apostle Paul said something to the tune of, "I want to do right, but I go ahead and do wrong any way". Well, dang it, I messed up today. It all started at Dave And Busters a couple of years ago. I will take you there now....

Audrey and Cash are enjoying "Daddy Daughter Audrey Day" and have decided to give Dave and Busters a whirl. When you play games there, you win tickets, lots of tickets. We began to collect these tickets and collect them in large quantities. I was totally focused on winning tickets!!! You've never seen good humor until you've seen a 48 year old man dive onto a single lost ticket on the floor of Dave and Busters. Those 8 year olds don't stand a chance against me!!!! I am king of the tickets. Well, other than those chineese finger torture things, there isn't much good at D&B to cash those tickets in on. So we let them accumulate.

48,000 Tickets later, we were ready to buy something. Never mind we have most likely spent a thousand or so bucks to get these tickets, we won them and winning something is much sweeter than earning something. So, finally, two weeks ago, I use our tickets to buy an I Phone/Ipod Doc and two remote control boats.

The boats are the problem. I played with them in the gorgeous pond/water feature right outside my new office. I played with them like a child. I love playing with remote control boats. So, to me, this makes me sort of cool. Older guy still in touch with his childhood values...while playing with the boats i would sing, "my baloney has a first name.....:"....see, i was being a child!

So the super cool people in the new office in the next building over (same water feature visible from their office) decide they want to play boats also. Lots of boats. They in fact brought out four big boats today and were making a tremendous racket. Well, not really, but they didn't invite me to play so phoooooey to them those fatty fatty fat heads!

As i watched from my dimly lit office with the shades just barely open enough to see, I couldn't take it any more. I ran out to my boat storage cabinent, grabbed one of the remotes and turned it on. I run back to my office without these new boating enthusiasts able to see me because i had to know if MY control might control THEIR new shiny boats. Yep it does. It controls the yellow one. Another 49 mHz boat!!! Horray for me, fighter of evil!

So they start racing their boats, and about every 10 feet, the yellow one just immediately goes in reverse and starts making violent circles, but just for a moment. Then I cease my torture and it moves forward, but for only another 10 or so feet when it begins to go backwards and in violent circles. Once again letting off, it starts to catch up to the other boats, and what do ya know????? It lurches backwards at the worst possible moment and goes into violent circles. They finally pulled it out of the water and began to work on it. I was laughing to loud and too hard to stay and watch.

Mission accomplished, and I do blame myself. I hope they come back tomorrow. I love remote control boats, even when the boat I am controlling isn't mine!

Deep Well of Knowledge

2010-03-20T10:58:00.008-05:00

Every post should start with a ridiculously cute baby picture. So here is mine. Sarah loves to be pulled around in her big sister's school backpack. When you hear her crying, it is usually because she is trying to fit inside and go for a ride. Ahhhh, the simple pleasures of life!

So it seems I post about once a year now, but I am using my brain what seems to be at least once every six months so I feel strongly that it is time to start writing again. Back in 2008 I sort of ran for president, I proclaimed that John McCain was a patsy and didn't really want to win, and that we needed to band together as conservative, proactive, Christian, patriotic folks. Notice I did not say Republicans.

Ok then, fast forward nearly two years and see where we are. The word "ugg" in my life is a simple expression I use to describe a situation that I find distasteful or a moment where I just don't want to take time to formulate a well thought out response. So, politically, UGG. Here is a quick update since the election back in 2008. I've had a couple of tepid posts since then, but really have been in the "ugg" mode.

September 9,2008: Sarah Grace Matthews is born. I am a daddy again at the age of 47. She is 1.6 years old now and I am 48 and a half. God has such a wonderful sense of humor. I love it when people walk up and ask to hold my granddaughter. I punched an old lady at Cracker Barrell last week. Well, not really, but I think I could have bested her in a punching and running contest. Me? A Grandfather? Not just yet. I am still learning how to be a daddy. God sure knows what he is doing! Which is exactly why he never gave me that flamethrower I wanted as a kid.

November 5, 2008: I decided to take our business, The Solomon Group, on a national basis. This isn't an advertisement for me or my biz, but I want to take action. Take action. That will be the remainder of my first post back from the darkside.

August 17, 2009: I opened our new National Education Center for The Solomon Group. It is a 6,000 square feet masterpiece of luck and perspiration. From this launching pad we intend to help affect change in a positive way.

The view from my office!

September 9, 2009. Sarah turned 1. I was a week away from 48. Wild. Assuming that most people start their success journey by age 18, I have had 30 good years at being an adult and I am taking stock of what has happened during those times.

So, where from here? Not sure. Tomorow our politicians will be forcing the vote on healthcare. Somehow they have taken the position that goods and services have become rights, and I disagree with that. But that is for another time, there isn't much we can do right now.

Frequently I get emails from friends who have gotten so amped up that they just have to send all of their friends their thoughts in the form of an email which clearly states their position, usually on a political subject. I mean, I get between 3 and 10 emails a day from good friends whom I respect and love and am thankful for. However, most of these emails is a bunch of phooey because they are not backe up by actions. It is time for America to take action. Sending emails to people who already believe like you do is NOT taking action. Sorry, but it isn't. We need to take action on every level and eliminate our areas of weakness. Here are some things I am asking myself, you, and the rest of the country to work on. I am not a great leader, and I don't know if anyone would ever believe the way I believe, but I am taking action. We have put it all on the line so that we can make a change. Which side of the line are you on? There is no middle ground in a war.

The Things We Should Work On:

1. Healthcare: It is a good and service, not a right. You want the government to help you? Do YOU help you? Do you take care of yourself? I am guilty of not doing this but it isn't the govs job to jump in and save me from myself. Heal thyself!

2. Social Security. What a ripoff, but it is mandatory so deal with it. Do you take care of your own savings and retirement? Is it a priority? Here is a simple test: Add up how much you spend on internet, cell phone, cable tv, and eating out. Now, add those numbers up. Okay, do you save at least that much into a savings account some where? So, those other things are your priority, not retirement.

3. Debt. We gripe about the government being in debt. Are you out of debt? At least out of "bad debt"? Lets get with it America. Proverbs says "The borrower is a SLAVE to the lender" (the Bible didn't capitalize slave, that was me). Are you a slave to a bad financial situation? Let's fix it. The governement is NOT going to help you, I am quite sure. Let's all get to a point where money is not the biggest object on our plates each day.

4. Charity/Public Giving/Welfare: Let's do this through the church. Lets get serious about sharing with our fellow man, but lets do it through an established framework where we don't feel guilty about every panhandler we pass buy. Let's create some little instruction sheets to put in their hats about where they can access our charitable funds.

5. Life/Well Being/ Happiness: Ha! You thought I was going to share the secret of happiness? I can tell you that the people I know who live commited lives of excellence seem to be the happiest. Be excellent, be awesome, be a student of the game. When I meet new employees of The Solomon Group I like to ask them what books they are currently reading. I like to ask them what educational courses they are taking either on their own or through the church. This really rattles people! Behind every door is not necessarily another open door. It is time to wake up America!

We have the greatest country on the planet, but we are in disrepair. It isn't the governements job to fix it, it is your job, my job, our job. We are "the people" mentioned in those early historical documents that posed the questions regarding our freedoms.

May God bless your every step, my you find peace and confidence in knowing that God loved YOU so much that he gave his only begotten Son that He should die for our transgressions. That is an excellent reason to feel special, to feel loved, and to feel like you are part of something really big. And in America, we the people must wake up, right now. We have been given much, and from each of us, much is expected.

I am awake.

Sarah's footprints on my hands, September 9, 2008. A very good day.

Schneegle Gluben

2009-02-20T01:30:00.002-06:00

So, my 9 year old has this fascination to say bad words. She can now slowly draw out the word aspirin so as to say a bad word but not get in trouble. She laughs with glee when she hears me utter something in frustration and each time my internal frown grows more weary of myself and lack of verbal control.

Then we came up with "Schneegle Gluben". We decided it was a German word that means "shucksy darn". Shucksy darn? Yep. The dark, forbidden word from deep in the mist of bad word world. We use it now when a bad word wants to pop out and we just cover it up with a loud, German accented, "Schneegle Gluben"!

Maybe it really means something profound. Or not.

If I haven't called you lately it is because the 5 on my phone has been busted. I keep wanting to call the phone carrier but there is a 5 in their service number. Oh well.

What A Year!

2008-11-12T19:22:00.002-06:00

Wow, what a year! Sarah Grace was born on September 9th and we are so delighted to be parents again at a somewhat "more mature" age. Katy, Audrey, and I are now recovering somewhat as we adjust to the new normal. Our friends and family here in Austin have been so kind and the outpouring of love and support has been very meaningful.

We've taken Sarah up to school a few times now and we have so many children who come over and love on her. It is so great to be part of such a nice community and we are forever thankful.

I don't have much to add right now but just want to reiterate how blessed and thankful we are to have our friends and family. This has been such an unusual experience and our lives are forever changed.

Summer Almost Over

2008-07-28T17:47:00.003-05:00

Uggg. I almost went to the beach today but the natural momentum of my life and my habits kept me from it. Better to goof off in front of a computer than to enjoy all that the beach has to offer. That's what I have to say about it.

Watch this video. It's About Laminin.

2008-05-10T09:08:00.002-05:00

This will be a great 8 minute investment of your time. You need to know about Laminin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4

Interview with ME!

2008-05-07T23:25:00.002-05:00

I found this online and forgot that I had been interviewed by BMX Webmaster Bryan Teague. Since I am a candidate for public office, I thought some of my former thoughts should be shared as well. For the two of you in my fan club (Katy and Audrey), I humbly submit my thoughts for your perusal:

http://www.ucbmxracing.com/Cash_interview.htm

A Great Speech.

2008-05-07T14:32:00.002-05:00

I am still running for President. Scroll around, read about me and my ideas. Also read this piece by PJ who puts it down pretty well. I hope being president will be fun. It is a lot of work to type on this blog once every couple of weeks. Please feel free to forward my blog to your entire address book. People need to read it. Thanks!

Fairness, idealism and other atrocities Commencement advice you're unlikely to hear elsewhere. By P.J. O'Rourke May 4, 2008

Well, here you are at your college graduation. And I know what you're thinking: "Gimme the sheepskin and get me outta here!" But not so fast. First you have to listen to a commencement speech. Don't moan. I'm not going to "pass the wisdom of one generation down to the next." I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.We were the moron generation. We were the generation that believed we could stop the Vietnam War by growing our hair long and dressing like circus clowns. We believed drugs would change everything -- which they did, for John Belushi.

We believed in free love. Yes, the love was free, but we paid a high price for the sex.My generation spoiled everything for you. It has always been the special prerogative of young people to look and act weird and shock grown-ups. But my generation exhausted the Earth's resources of the weird. Weird clothes -- we wore them. Weird beards -- we grew them. Weird words and phrases -- we said them. So, when it came your turn to be original and look and act weird, all you had left was to tattoo your faces and pierce your tongues. Ouch. That must have hurt. I apologize.

So now, it's my job to give you advice. But I'm thinking: You're finishing 16 years of education, and you've heard all the conventional good advice you can stand.

So, let me offer some relief:

1. Go out and make a bunch of money! Here we are living in the world's most prosperous country, surrounded by all the comforts, conveniences and security that money can provide. Yet no American political, intellectual or cultural leader ever says to young people, "Go out and make a bunch of money." Instead, they tell you that money can't buy happiness. Maybe, but money can rent it.There's nothing the matter with honest moneymaking. Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. In a free society, with the rule of law and property rights, no one loses when someone else gets rich.

2. Don't be an idealist! Don't chain yourself to a redwood tree. Instead, be a corporate lawyer and make $500,000 a year. No matter how much you cheat the IRS, you'll still end up paying $100,000 in property, sales and excise taxes. That's $100,000 to schools, sewers, roads, firefighters and police. You'll be doing good for society. Does chaining yourself to a redwood tree do society $100,000 worth of good?

Idealists are also bullies. The idealist says, "I care more about the redwood trees than you do. I care so much I can't eat. I can't sleep. It broke up my marriage. And because I care more than you do, I'm a better person. And because I'm the better person, I have the right to boss you around."Get a pair of bolt cutters and liberate that tree.Who does more for the redwoods and society anyway -- the guy chained to a tree or the guy who founds the "Green Travel Redwood Tree-Hug Tour Company" and makes a million by turning redwoods into a tourist destination, a valuable resource that people will pay just to go look at?So make your contribution by getting rich. Don't be an idealist.

3. Get politically uninvolved! All politics stink. Even democracy stinks. Imagine if our clothes were selected by the majority of shoppers, which would be teenage girls. I'd be standing here with my bellybutton exposed. Imagine deciding the dinner menu by family secret ballot. I've got three kids and three dogs in my family. We'd be eating Froot Loops and rotten meat.But let me make a distinction between politics and politicians. Some people are under the misapprehension that all politicians stink. Impeach George W. Bush, and everything will be fine. Nab Ted Kennedy on a DUI, and the nation's problems will be solved. But the problem isn't politicians -- it's politics. Politics won't allow for the truth. And we can't blame the politicians for that. Imagine what even a little truth would sound like on today's campaign trail: "No, I can't fix public education. The problem isn't the teachers unions or a lack of funding for salaries, vouchers or more computer equipment The problem is your kids!"

4. Forget about fairness. We all get confused about the contradictory messages that life and politics send.Life sends the message, "I'd better not be poor. I'd better get rich. I'd better make more money than other people." Meanwhile, politics sends us the message, "Some people make more money than others. Some are rich while others are poor. We'd better close that 'income disparity gap.' It's not fair!"Well, I am here to advocate for unfairness. I've got a 10-year-old at home. She's always saying, "That's not fair." When she says this, I say, "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That's not fair. You were born in America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you." What we need is more income, even if it means a bigger income disparity gap

5. Be a religious extremist! So, avoid politics if you can. But if you absolutely cannot resist, read the Bible for political advice -- even if you're a Buddhist, atheist or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those people who believes that God is involved in politics. On the contrary. Observe politics in this country. Observe politics around the world. Observe politics through history. Does it look like God's involved? The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. Observe the Tenth Commandment. The first nine commandments concern theological principles and social law: Thou shalt not make graven images, steal, kill, et cetera. Fair enough. But then there's the tenth: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."Here are God's basic rules about how we should live, a brief list of sacred obligations and solemn moral precepts. And, right at the end of it we read, "Don't envy your buddy because he has an ox or a donkey." Why did that make the top 10? Why would God, with just 10 things to tell Moses, include jealousy about livestock?Well, think about how important this commandment is to a community, to a nation, to a democracy. If you want a mule, if you want a pot roast, if you want a cleaning lady, don't whine about what the people across the street have. Get rich and get your own.Now, one last thing:

6. Don't listen to your elders! After all, if the old person standing up here actually knew anything worth telling, he'd be charging you for it.

P.J. O'Rourke, a correspondent for the Weekly Standard and the Atlantic, is the author, most recently, of "On The Wealth of Nations." A longer version of this article appears in Change magazine, which reports on trends and issues in higher education.

I approve of this message. Cash.

More On Politics. Vote For Me.

2008-04-25T18:48:00.003-05:00

I want to hire this guy to write editorial about the Congress while I am in office. Please vote for me. Please leave comments about how much you like me as it will encourage others to do the same, and then I get to be the President. Easy. Please read this article.

Wow! Ain't it the truth!

545 People By Charlie Reese --

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does. You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy, The Federal Reserve Bank does.One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress.

In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ. If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like 'the economy,' 'inflation' or 'politics' that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess! Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel

My Girls

2008-04-24T22:36:00.002-05:00

Yes, I may very well be the next President of the United States, but on the way, I have much to be thankful for and many things to praise God for. As you may have heard, my manly ability to be US President has carried over into my personal life and now my wife is 19 weeks pregnant. Stuff like that happens when you are 46 and qualified to run the free world. (Iron fist, velvet glove)

So, Katy is pregnant. Today we found out that Audrey is to have a brand new SISTER coming sometime in September. If you believe in prayer, please pray for Katy, Audrey, Me, and for Sarah Grace. We chose the name Sarah from the Bible. Sarah was 90 when she had a child! We chose Grace because God shows us mercy and grace on a daily basis and we are in awe of His love. Mercy may not have been a good middle name for a little sweet girl. God has given me the desires of my heart and fulfilled me in a way that is hard to describe. Praise The Lord, Praise The Lord!

So, anyway, I would like to be president and now I have a new daughter on the way! Lots of responsibility for one humble man. My mind is still not completely around the idea that we have another child on the way. I made Katy mow the back 40 acres and adjust the transmissions in both cars. She is a trooper. I will be better next time, I promise.

I Want To Be Your President In 2008

2008-04-17T16:40:00.001-05:00

Why Cash Matthews Should Be Elected President of The United States In 2008

It is that time of the decade where armchair politicians everywhere take a stand for that one person they believe most qualified to lead our country into the future. The position of President of The United States of America is perhaps the most powerful political position in all the world. After much political “hubbub”, each party carefully selects that one special person whom they believe most qualified to win the election in November. Sometimes, there is a clear choice. Ronald Regan comes to mind.

In 2008, no such clear choice exists for the American Public. John McCain seems to be tired of the process already and choosing between Obama and Clinton is sort of like choosing between liver or more liver. Uggg. The whole thing makes me want to vomit, but I am sure someone would come along and tax it. So, with that in mind, I believe I should be elected president of The United States in 2008. And after reading my thoughts, and if you agree, jump right in and get me elected. I won’t be doing any campaign work beyond my blog as it is concise, clear, and to the point. There is no doubt where I stand, what I will do, or what my opinion is on a particular matter. Take a moment and ponder what it would be like to have your old buddy, Cash, running the country.

First, let’s identify the real issues facing our country today. There are several and in no particular order of importance, let’s get with it.

Economics. Too many people don’t have a clear perception of what the economy is, how it works, or how it affects them. Some folks think the president has something to do with the economy. Hogwash. The economy is you and me spending money, hiring people, saving for the future, and being prudent with our choices. The economy is a keen self awareness that each of us is responsible for our own financial well being and we don’t want the government involved at all.

Here is how we make the economy even better right away.

Institute a consumption tax. Add 10% to the price of everything and eliminate the IRS and the federal income tax. This would take a couple of years to institute, so I will be required to be elected to two terms to see it through. With this plan we end interest rate tax deductions, special interest group tax deductions, and corporate loopholes. There will be more money in our tax coffers than ever before and the burden will be equitable among the rich, the middle class, and the poor. You poor people have had it way too easy for way too long. We made it easy to be poor in the US. Cut back to 1 color tv and 1 car if you aren’t making it.

Phase out Social Security. Starting today, every baby born will be required to put away $1,000 into the Franklin Templeton Founding Funds mutual fund. (please see a prospectus before investing, consider all risks, and realize that I am not soliciting you here.) On the day I step into office, everyone on that day who is 40 or younger will no longer pay social security or receive social security. Lets do the math before you hate me.

First, you need to know that 15.5% of your income is paid into SS each pay period. Eliminating this give you more paycheck and your employer more profit. AWESOME! It also encourages self employment as the ridiculous “self employment tax” goes away and small entrepreneurs can flourish without the threat of the government looming over them. This will increase the job market massively.

Without the gouge of social security taxes, we could easily raise the minimum wage to $10 without sacrifice on the part of the employer. I hate the minimum wage concept, but need to support it to get elected by those who choose to live on it. So, if you vote for me I will give you more money. But seriously, if you work for minimum wage, figure out how to make more. That is just a starting point not designed to be your ending wage in life.

Eliminate the capital gains tax. There is so much capital sitting on the sidelines both in cash, stocks, and real estate but people won’t move it because our population is tax averse. Capital would pour into the economy and US investment back into the US would flourish.
There are lots of other things we can do, but these basic ones will get us
going like never before.

US Security.

I am afraid of terrorism. I want a place where my children’s children can flourish without fear. There are some things we should do right away to counter these threats.

Quadruple the funding of the CIA, NSA, FBI and other counter-terrorism groups. Once we recognize that these guys want to kill you and your family and your pets, it will be okay to strike back in a way that they have never seen. The CIA and others will go back to being clandestine organizations without all the public scrutiny.

Drill on our own lands and tell the Saudis to “piss off”. Alaska, we are sacrificing the caribou to our local zoo and we are going to create new drilling programs as well as R & D, alternative fuel sources, refining, etc. We will incent fuel savings, etc in all areas including autos, airlines, homes, manufacturing, etc. We will have a goal of being completely energy independent by 2017 when my daughter graduates high school.

Refine military procedures where terrorist cells are concerned. Strike forces should be enough to wipe out these groups.

Complete reform of immigration. If you want to kill us, you stay home. Eliminate Visa programs of known terrorist groups.

Health Care.

Allow HSA accounts for every citizen. The government is not supposed to provide your health insurance or your car insurance or any other type of insurance that is personal in nature.
Ease FDA scrutiny on drug research to a degree. I am not sure how much, but I will hire some experts to tell me how to make drugs cheaper in the US. Otherwise, we will open kiosks and Mexican internet sites so US citizens can buy drugs as cheaply as the rest of the world.

Create a senior citizen drug guideline for drug companies and pharmacies to follow. There aren’t many easy answers here so I will hire the smartest people I can find to help me figure out a workable solution. Our over 65 population has paid a great price for America and we need a workable plan for this group where health care and prescriptions are concerned.
Create a stop-loss guideline for all uninsured that can be implemented by major health care companies. Perhaps a $10,000 deductible plan with a prescription card that could be easily obtained by individuals regardless of health care condition. If the healthy half of the 45 million uninsureds were participating, we could afford within the realms of compassionate capitalism to insure the non healthy as well. Start education EARLY in life about purchasing HSA lifetime accounts.

Education:

1. Abolish the NEA. It is not found anywhere in the constitution where the federal government is responsible for local education. I am for massively strong education programs, just not funded or authorized by the federal government. All such activities will be delegated to the states and will not be an issue of the federal government. We are 50 United States, not One Central Government. Think about it.

2. Abolish all funding for Arts and Education. Now before you lynch me, think about the constitutional call of the Federal Government. Nowhere are they called to do Arts and Education. That belongs on a state or local level. I love art, I love education. I even love Art Education. But it belongs on the local level. Anyone who currently works for the Federal Government in an education capacity will be unemployed on the day after I take office.

Military
1. Immediately increase all pay grades by 30% for active duty military.
2. Immediately increase all pay grades for military retirees commensurate with inflation with a 10 year look-back.
3. Strengthen military retirement and health care benefits
4. Increase military recruitment in colleges. With the new pay raises, we can get some bright people to go kill our enemies. We need to treat the military like the heroes they are.
5. Hire Bill Gates as a special ambassador to the military and have Microsoft technicians create new military devices. Lets use technology to make our world safer AND increase the playing of solitare around the globe.

6. Social:

Eliminate all federally funded abortions. That is not the job of the government. If you want to kill your child or someone’s grandchild, that is between you and God, but don’t ask the government to pay for it.
Because it is the job of the Government to protect people, we will institute massive education on what abortion actually is, how it works, what it looks like, and the possible outcomes. We will also provide massive education on other options such as adoption.

Reinstate the Presidents Council On Fitness. I am too fat and so are many Americans. Let’s get healthy so we can pay taxes longer.

Create Term Limits for congress. Eight years and you are done. Say goodnight Ted.
Make Congress abide by the same health care and retirement plans all the other government employees enjoy. Nothing special for these guys.

Raise the speed limit to 95 on I-10 towards El Paso and on I-40 towards New Mexico.

Find out if there really is a carburetor that delivers 100 mpg and put it on all cars. If GM and the oil companies are holding out on us, let’s bash them. If this is a myth, lets all buy Exxon stock and get rich together.

Consumer Safety. Increase funding to make sure US products and imported products are safe for US citizens. Every year we will make the CEO of every company that does business near a river or lake take and drink 16 ounces of the affluent water near their factory. Take care of the land.

Create delicious entrees from the endangered species list. Seriously, the cow would never have survived on its own had it not been so delicious. Once we make the spotted tree lizard into a delicious entrée, we will let capitalism figure out how to make them thrive.

Illegal Immigration. I don’t know what to do here, but we will study it together and come up with the right answer.

Gun Control: It is a person’s right to own guns and it should always be that way.

DWI: If you get a 4th DWI, you lose your license forever. Get a bicycle. Maybe we do this at the 3rd DWI. If you are a Congressman, you get two strikes and you are out of a car and out of office.

For now, this is my platform. The United States is a blessed country and I am proud to be a citizen. I am perhaps too brash to become the president on my own, but I believe that we must do what’s right, and do it all the time.

My background: I have screwed up more times than any human on the face of the earth. If it is wrong, I probably have done it. I never did drugs or alcohol, but I have messed up in so many other ways that it all equals out. But the cool thing is that is why you have to be pretty old to run for President. I don’t mind that Obama used drugs, or that Hillary married Bill. To each his own. At this point in life, we are old enough and mature enough to recognize the call of duty, and to perform that duty. I wanna be the President of The United States. My campaign budget is $14.95 per month I pay AOL for internet service and I won’t spend a dime beyond that. I don’t need your money to become president. You keep it, you invest it for yourself and your kids. Use your money to get out of debt or to help someone needy.

I figure it takes about 30,000,000 votes to get elected. I can count 5 votes here in Austin, so we are getting closer.

Oh, my running mate. Hmmmmm, Not sure. Probably Alan Keyes. Now that is a bright dude! Hey Alan, if you read this and want to help me change the world, please email me at cashgolf@aol.com. I can’t call you as it would put me over budget.

Cash Matthews

Golf

2008-04-06T22:36:00.002-05:00

I like golf a great deal. Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. I head to Atlanta to begin preparations to go see the ultimate of all sporting matches: The Masters Golf Tournament in August, Georgia. I am a little excited about going and am looking forward to making myself available should Tiger become injured and the officials start to look for a stand in. I would do that for Tiger.

I have played golf for the last three days and am exhausted. I hurt my left wrist on Friday and am withdrawing from the Texas State Amateur qualifying tournament which is also tomorrow. I can't really grip the club at the moment. Uggg. I've had so many injuries in my life it is hard to contemplate another. So, double Ugggg.

I am tired, so I am going to bed. Jason from Milwaukee is here and we fished all afternoon long. I am tired. Goodnight!

Muck.

2008-03-18T15:18:00.003-05:00

Well, it has been 6 weeks since I have been to confession, uh, I mean my blog. It is raining today and the sky is a bit gray. Is there a difference between gray and grey? I always get confused so I am not sure how to act on days like this.

Katy and I have been to the doctor now 3 times to check the progress of Junior Matthews. The last test was an ultrasound that can detect abnormalities and it turned out good. Katy also had a blood test to test for some protein thingy and it turned out good as well. So thing on the baby front seem to be progressing "as planned". God has a swell sense of humor and it always amazes me how he talks to me more and louder when I talk less and am a bit more silent. Which leads me to my topic today. Muck. I don't really have a better way to put it than that, but I have muck swarming my brain at the moment. At a time when I ought to be at my very best, I find myself a little lost. It is probably nothing, as most worries go, but there seems to be lots of little things pulling at me and at times I forget which thing to do first. That is muck. I have it.

Interview For Web Site

2008-02-03T19:09:00.001-06:00

i was asked by a bmx website for a bit of my historical perspective. I hope you enjoy the interview!

http://www.vintagemongoose.com/people/cashmatthews.php

Check it out!

First Trip To The Doctor

2008-01-28T23:22:00.000-06:00

Well, today Katy and I went to see Dr. Kaplan about this pregnancy thing. Wow. He used a contraption that showed us the baby and his heartbeat. Wild stuff. She is ACTUALLY PREGNANT!

Through the course of this I asked Katy to take 4 different pregnancy tests. I was sure the first two were flawed so I made her go to CVS where she bought a different brand from a different store. Still positive! Wow! Oh me of little faith.

The due date is approximately September 18th. We were given the warnings given to older women who have kids. I think he said blahblahblahblahblhablhabblah or something. I couldn't hear that part.

This was a joyful day. Katy is already tired and nauseous. That worked out well at lunch as I got to eat the rest of her steak at Texas Land and Cattle!

I am still in shock, but the good kind of shock. Katy is going to have a baby it seems. Wow. Thanks, Katy!

How Did THAT Happen?

2008-01-17T10:40:00.000-06:00

So, I am 46. Katy is 44. A few weeks ago I was feeling fat, frumpy, and not all that cool. Things have changed. I found out yesterday that my sweet wife is pregnant! Yep, that's right, pregnant. The kind where you get a cool baby at the end. I absolutely have no idea what to say or do right now. Shock and AWE! God has the best sense of humor and timing.

I Did It My Whey

2008-01-14T22:56:00.000-06:00

So, I am going to try the Southbeach Diet with ice cream on top. I just had my annual physical and OUCH was that fun. I had listened to Tom Petty's "Full Moon Fever" on the way just to get psyched up for the physical review in front of me.

So, here is what I know. I am a chubby, happy guy. Unfortunately, they don't have a device that measures happy, so they only invented contraptions designed to point out your flaws and weaknesses. I may invent the "happy-ometer" to make sure to detect the appropriate level of happy in your blood. "Ahhhh, Mr. Matthews, I can see by your blood work that you have been listening to your old Steve Martin albums. Your cholestoral is 900 points over, but your happy reading was absolutely sterling!" Perhaps I shall patent this and sell it through my new ebay business.

I promised my doctor that I would quit eating ice cream, junior mints, and chocolate covered sugar bombs with super delite frosting. Delite does have the word lite in it which adds to the confusion. What he doesn't know is that I will quit eating them in that particular order and I will now "Delite" in junior mints, ice cream, and chocolate covered sugar bombs. I like it better that way, actually. Actually, now it may be time to truly deal with my weight issue. Too many people (strangers mostly) are rubbing my belly for good luck. It is a great way to meet people but I can't really see my feet at the moment and this girdle is killing me. When I take this thing off it is quite similar to the effect of breaking open a huge can of biscuits. Flaky Grand Puffs, go "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAHHHHHHHHHH". So do I.

I fell down the stairs the other night. New shoes. They are a little wider than the old ones and I caught the heel on the edge of a stair and rolled over my ankle. Then I heard a pop! I was worried that my girdle had given way (monumental possible consequences) but alas, it was only my right ankle. The sound scared me as I was certain that I had broken my foot. So what followed shortly thereafter was old guy panic. I got nauseous, then passed out. I would make a lousy boxer. Actually, my wife said, "honey, you started sweating profusely, turned white as a sheet, THEN passed out." I mentioned to her that I always sweat that much due to the above mentioned chubbiness. Anyway, I took the next day off with my foot propped up and did nothing. I was very good at doing nothing.

A Section I LIKE TO CALL: UGGGGGGG!

My life-long favorite football team, The Indianapolis (Baltimore) Colts got beat by the San Diego Cheerleaders. I know, it is really "The Chargers" but their starting star QB and Running back were at the nacho stand when all the great plays actually happened. Thanks guys. You got beat on TV by the back ups. National TV. The best kind. You should have called me. I would have come had I known you weren't really into the game. What, did Jessica Simpson show up in Indy too?

Ok, Katy likes the Cowboys whom I refer to as "The Callous Dough Boys". Double Ugg. They were my back up plan. Go Brett Farvrvervewev. Or however you say it. Far Vray? Far Vuh?
Far Vreh? Sorry, I am an Okie and my pro nunts E a shun ain't so swell sum tym. Green Bay. That guy. Somebody beat those New Englanders.

Ok, I gotta go to sleep now. Lets summarize for those weaned on Cliff Notes:

Protein
Moon River
Biscuit Butt
Wrenched Ankle
Losers

Please leave glowing responses or I will give you details of the physical!

I Just Turned Middle Age

2007-12-04T20:56:00.000-06:00

Tonight as I sat at Johnny Carinos Italian Restaurant it occured to me that I may be approaching "middle age". My wife was too busy to cook dinner so I was on my own tonight and set out on a journey that, in my best deep-radio voice, could only be described as "one man's journey from youth to adult hood in just 13 tortelinis.

I gotta tell you, I was totally self aware during dinner. There were two young girls at the bar to my left. A king size titanium girdle couldn't have helped me this evening. I looked over just in time to get a glimpse of them NOT looking at me. Just for safety's sake, I "sucked in my gut" in case they were in need of some serious eye candy. What really hit me the most bluntly was that I was reading the Sears and Roebuck Tool Catelog during dinner. Actually, I found it quite compelling and I am now ready to order a welding machine and a house size generator to go with my 987 piece Craftsman kit. Tools are cool. If you are 46.

This is where I got a little older. Look at me, a 46 year old chubby guy sitting alone, reading the Sears catalog. It didn't even have a bra section. All that I was missing were the bermuda shorts with knee high blue socks jumping out of my white leather shoes complete with a gold buckle. Perhaps I am destined for Florida at an early age. Tonight I felt old. And a little bit alone. I gotta get me one of those wratchet sets.

I often wonder if the daily pressure to keep things going affects others like it does me. Everyone experiences it I am sure, but few react to it. How do you keep things going in the right direction? Am I living a marginal life? Is any of this making a difference? I think I am going to re-read "Purpose Driven Life" and see if I missed a section or something. Perhaps it is just the way it goes in December.

Tomorrow is my mothers birthday. She would have been 67.

The Hall of Fame!

2007-11-25T19:40:00.000-06:00

This week I was asked to be the introductory speaker for the American Bicycle Association Hall of Fame banquet being held in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was voted into this very Hall of Fame last year for my work in the world of BMX Racing.

This year I was the MC of the event and the person responsible for inducting the new members into the Hall of Fame. Three people whom I know were to be inducted and I felt a great responsibility to bring them into the group in a meaningful way. Being a member of a Hall of Fame of any sort is a little weird in the first place. I have a hard time sometimes telling people about it as it is a little difficult not to sound self absorbed. Anyway, I am truly the greatest and most humblest and greatest most fantastic bicycle racer every in the history of the free world and everyone loves me very much. (If you believe this, please read my post about getting "racked" the first time I rode a bike.)

Katy, Audrey, and I went to Tulsa and stayed at the Radisson during our visit. They have "Sleep Number Beds". It is kind of odd having a "blow up bed". They are loud when blowing up and make a hissing type of sound when releasing air. Or perhaps that was Katy. Anyway, I like the sleep number bed. The number I have the problem with is the $2,000 number that they take from you when you purchase one.

Truly I am thankful for being a member of The BMX Hall of Fame. It is hard to imagine that ANYONE could possibly remember something I did so many years ago. I do love the sport and am proud of my involvement. I can say with authority that it would be more appropriate for me to be in the Oreo Hall of Fame of the French Fry Hall of Fame. I am an industry icon in those areas and would love to go to an event where I could sign autographs and eat Oreos.

Alrighty then, I gotta go get some ugly sleep and pray for the Oklahoma Sooners who play the Misery Tigers (I don't know how to spell Missouri) tomorrow at the Alamodome in San Antonio. The Big 12 Championship is up for grabs and Katy and I will be in attendance. Boomer Sooner!

7 Random Things About Me

2007-11-16T17:52:00.000-06:00

My wife, Katy, tagged me. I felt sort of like one of those catch and release large mouth bass that gets caught, tagged, and released back into its native habitat with a new necklace made just for covert activities. I am supposed to write 7 random things about myself. Here goes:

1. I have a phobia that I am going to sneeze a big green booger onto some poor females beautiful black evening gown. Seriously. I have lots of allergies. In the past, I have had lots of green projectile items moving rapidly in an uncontrolled manner. These possibilities scare me. I often fear when I am near a nicely dressed female that a violent sneeze will come upon me and I will add an ill advised freestyle green lapel pin.

2. I dream that I swallow my key chain. I have this dream about 2 times a month, and each time I wake up in a panic. I don't know where it comes from, but it is there. Almost every time I wake Katy up around 3 a.m. and scream out, "Katy, this time I really swallowed them, help me!"

3. I love Spirograph. Enough said. You do too.

4. I sweat easily. Perhaps I am too chubby, but even when I was skinny I sweated a great deal. I am a fat, sweaty, booger shooting goof. Katy married poorly.

5. I have never given it my all at anything. Long story, but I have coasted through life sort of. I don't want to run out of space or bore myself, but I need to develop my A game. Perhaps my recent passing of the NASD Series 7 exam is the exception to this rule, but this has been a part of my life forever.

6. I am a football psychotic. In my mind, I believe that for my team to do well, my right foot must be pointing towards my teams goal line when on offense, and my other foot pointed away from the goal when on defense. I move around alot during games. This is the first time I have revealed this to anyone. Do you still love me Katy? A fat, sweaty, booger shooter is one thing, but to have a FSBS with a foot pointing disorder may be too much.

7. I hate eggs. I eat them almost every morning, but I don't like them. I was told they were great for me (protein), but I really loathe eggs. George Bush hates broccoli, I hate eggs. If he and I ever go to dinner together, I am going to order up some broccoli omelettes just to press the situation a little.

I am not tagging anyone. I don't know anyone else who bloggs, so there you go. 7 ran-dumb things about Cash Matthews. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Obey Your Girth

2007-11-09T19:21:00.000-06:00

I remember the day I got fat. It was near the end of the 11th grade as I sat in Mr. Reimers class contemplating his future as a history teacher. It seemed ironic to me at the time, but I digress as I do when I am tempted to discuss my health and well being. On this day, I had gorged at Long John Silvers and paid particular attention to the remainder of the crumblies and corn fritters left at the table. My grandma taught me to eat it all, so I did.

Towards the end of a fascinating history lesson, I looked down and could no longer see my belt buckle. Being from Oklahoma, the belt buckle was a major fashion accesory for the time, and I could not see mine. I felt awful. I leaned over to my friend Steve Tomlinson (Brilliant guy, thin, 4.0 average through high school, college, MBA and PHD) and said, "Steve, I am fat!". He replied, "I know!". Apparently, this had been something coming on for longer than I realized.

This began a life long struggle with being chubby. As a young child, I was so skinny it was scary. My parents took me to the doctor a lot to see what was wrong with me. I was a rail. My grandmother, Geraldine, could cook some quality fried food, and she saw fit to fix the problem that the doctors seemed to ignore. Fried meat. Fried potatoes. Fried Ice Cream. Fried Pie.

Today I weigh about 220 pounds and need to weigh less than 175. I have a small frame. I take medicine for high blood pressure and cholestoral. Those pills taste best when slathered in Cool Whip. I am not sure why I chose this life, but it seems to be a choice. Perhaps I am a victim of something and I am just awaiting my shot at a Talk Show where I can cry and have Richard Simmons spring out of the wings....mmmmmmm...Wings sound tasty right now! Sorry, where was I?

My wife is on her way home with hot dogs. She boils them in beer and I eat them with mustard and ketchup. Or is it catsup? We can address that controversy later. I know I should eat a bag of carrots, but the hot dogs won the position on the starting line up tonight. This is something I have to think about I think. I can't go on like this, but I seem to be stuck in the same old rut. I've done several diet things with some success, but when real life sets in, those old habits come back to comfort me.

Do other people struggle like this? I'm not sure I like being the fat funny guy. Funny is good, but the fat thing is getting old. I was so ashamed of being skinny. Is there a happy medium? Medium is how I like my steaks cooked, and usually with a baked potato and sour cream. Dang, can't even get through one paragraph without constant food triggers. I'm gonna go eat three of those delicious Nutri System entrees. That oughta make me skinny.

Ug.

I Race Kids Bikes

2007-11-08T19:15:00.000-06:00

Along time ago in a land far,far away, I was a little kid. The debate rages on as to whether or not I ever actually grew up, but it is safe to say that now, at the age of 46, I have some level of higher understanding. When I was young, I thought like a kid. Now that I am much older, I still think like a kid, but in the body of a middle aged baby-boomer.

As a kid, I rode my bike as much as possible. I can recall the first day I learned to ride it at the Faulkner's house near my old school in Shawnee, Oklahoma. I finally got the hang of riding and man, what a feeling! The wind blowing in my hair, bugs in my teeth, and the open road in front of me. Living directly across from the Faulkner's was my first grade class mate Debby Duncan. She was out playing in her yard that fateful day when I first learned to ride a two wheeler. I decided that my skill level had progressed enough to ride over to her house and show her my new skills. What I didn't realize is that I hadn't actually learned how to ride over a curb, a skill I would need to reach my destination just 50 feet away.

The dull thud of riding a bike over a curb doesn't sound like much unless you are 6 years old. Not only did I learn how to ride a bike on this day, but it was the first time I ever "racked" myself. You know, taking a shot to the produce section, punched in the little buddies, doin the real achy breaky dance. Racked. Whoever invented bicycles with the boys bike having the top tube and the girls bike not having a top tube got it all backwards. Just as I rode over the curb with my confidence fully in place, I slipped off the pedals hitting two balls with one mighty swing. By the time the pain had gone full circle through my lower extremities, I had rolled to a stop just 3 feet away from Debby. I couldn't speak. She said, "Hi Cash, You wanna Play House". I could only stare at her with tears coming from my eyes. I think I made a slight uttering sound, but nothing more than a meek utterance of desperation was available. I had never known such pain. To experience this in front of a girl that I sorta liked made the situation even worse. How do you tell your possible first girlfriend that you have sore thingys? It never worked out between us.

Somewhere between the age of 6 and 12, I got better riding a bicycle. To make a long story short, (is that still possible at this point?) I was one of the first people in the US to participate in the sport of BMX Racing. What I really wanted was a motorcycle, but my parents wouldn't budge. We simply couldn't afford it. My brother had two motorcycles as it turns out, but for me, my destiny would be much different. I had a bicycle. I made the best of it, and am so thankful that is how it turned out. I raced my bike all over the United States the following 7 years at the expense of Mongoose Bicycles, my sponsor. They gave me dozens of new bicycles, equipment, and treated me like a rock star. From time to time, I would find my picture or an interview with me in magazines. It was a pretty interesting way to live as a teenager.

Last year, I was voted into the American Bicycle Association Hall of Fame. Pretty cool stuff for a chubby old guy. Here is the funny part. I still race. I sponsor a team of kids and adults who race. I still love it to this day. And though it doesn't consume the same energy as it did when I was younger, I love it still. Perhaps more. Most people at 46 don't have a sport that they got to do as a child, and again as an adult.

When people find out I race bmx, they say, "Motorcycles?" Nope. Bikes. With pedals. "Oh, do you do those ramps and flips?" Nope. I race. Defined winners and losers. "So, you know Dave Mirra and Matt Hoffman?" Nope. "Are you on ESPN and the X Games?" Nope, not unless I pose with a John 3:16 poster and get a rainbow wig. (I believe the same way that guy does, I just don't love his method! ) So, I am a 46 year old business guy, I have an 8 year old daughter, and I race kids bikes. I love it. I love to win trophies, and hang out with my friends. Not many understand my sport, or me, but it fits me just right. Now that my clothes fit me just wrong, I am so glad that I never got that motorcycle. Destiny is a funny thing if you let it happen.

Thanks, Mom!

Why Aliens Will Never Visit Earth

2007-11-08T16:44:00.000-06:00

For my first attempt at a blog, I wanted to be serious for a few moments and dispell rumors that aliens have visited earth. I will hereby debunk every known theory, sighting, or close encounter and will explain explicitly why aliens will not bother to visit our tasty little orb.

First, the sightings of ufos. I group them all together into one universal group and vigorously contend that each of the known "sightings" can be reduced to one simple answer: flatulence.
Yep, that's right. We all know about it, most of us have it, and even more of us sort of actually enjoy its presence in our lives. It is a well documented scientific FACT that our own malodorous noise maker is highly flammable and that it floats upward at tremendous speeds. Actually, the speed of flatulence is inversely related to the number of people ABOUT to walk into the room where you were tooting your own horn. If 7 of your wife's closest friends are about to walk into the den where you thought you were alone, flatulence travels at about 2 feet per hour at best. But after that, it has been clocked upwards of 4300 miles per hour.

It is believed that the "FART" was documented well before the first alleged alien/ufo sighting. The match and fire was next, then the wheel. It only stands to reason that there were caveman ancestors of mine who saw the logical beauty of taking this new found fire and mixing it with their voluminous quantitys of caveman body gas. Cavemen had a largely sulphuric diet and the early days of our planet were more noxious than most realize. It wasn't meteors that killed the dinosaurs. It was the first pregnant cavelady who combined the sulphur based diet with being pregnant. Basically, that's all it took.

Now, why the aliens will never visit our planet: My dad loves to fart into his cell phone to "get me good". On those fine occassions where I answer with a basic "hello", and am met by the sound of a choking duck on the other end, I know that my dad is on the other end showing me how funny he really is. It wasn't funny enough that he named his two boys Cash and Carey. Nah, he has to call me up at the age of 67 and rip me a new earhole. And how, you may ask, will this keep aliens from visiting the earth? Simple.

As has been documented factually on numerous top rated websites, aliens obviously do exist. That has never been in question. As Stan Dare documented on www.aliensreallyexist.com, aliens really exist. However, they, like most of my redneck inlaws, choose to steal basic cable rather than pay for it. And where do they steal it? Right from those same multi-use satellites that transmist our cable/cell phone signals across our planet. And when my Dad fires one up, (and he rarely stops at just one) that noise gets broadcast right onto the television set of every
Xornquellian (well known dark planet) in the cosmos. Folks, this ain't rocket science. This is alien science. I gotta believe that those aliens up there bootlegging cable from our satellites are smart enough to know that the atmosphere of our planet smells of rotten eggs and ranch style beans.

So, in the name of interplanetary safety, let er' rip!

I dedicate this first blog posting to my wife, who will beat me senseless as I snicker about my "pregnant lady fart comment above. Pain is temporary, but a good laugh can last a while. Sorry, Katy. I have now blogged. You may resume your normal duties.