I Want To Be Your President In 2008

Why Cash Matthews Should Be Elected President of The United States In 2008


It is that time of the decade where armchair politicians everywhere take a stand for that one person they believe most qualified to lead our country into the future. The position of President of The United States of America is perhaps the most powerful political position in all the world. After much political “hubbub”, each party carefully selects that one special person whom they believe most qualified to win the election in November. Sometimes, there is a clear choice. Ronald Regan comes to mind.

In 2008, no such clear choice exists for the American Public. John McCain seems to be tired of the process already and choosing between Obama and Clinton is sort of like choosing between liver or more liver. Uggg. The whole thing makes me want to vomit, but I am sure someone would come along and tax it. So, with that in mind, I believe I should be elected president of The United States in 2008. And after reading my thoughts, and if you agree, jump right in and get me elected. I won’t be doing any campaign work beyond my blog as it is concise, clear, and to the point. There is no doubt where I stand, what I will do, or what my opinion is on a particular matter. Take a moment and ponder what it would be like to have your old buddy, Cash, running the country.

First, let’s identify the real issues facing our country today. There are several and in no particular order of importance, let’s get with it.

Economics. Too many people don’t have a clear perception of what the economy is, how it works, or how it affects them. Some folks think the president has something to do with the economy. Hogwash. The economy is you and me spending money, hiring people, saving for the future, and being prudent with our choices. The economy is a keen self awareness that each of us is responsible for our own financial well being and we don’t want the government involved at all.

Here is how we make the economy even better right away.

Institute a consumption tax. Add 10% to the price of everything and eliminate the IRS and the federal income tax. This would take a couple of years to institute, so I will be required to be elected to two terms to see it through. With this plan we end interest rate tax deductions, special interest group tax deductions, and corporate loopholes. There will be more money in our tax coffers than ever before and the burden will be equitable among the rich, the middle class, and the poor. You poor people have had it way too easy for way too long. We made it easy to be poor in the US. Cut back to 1 color tv and 1 car if you aren’t making it.

Phase out Social Security. Starting today, every baby born will be required to put away $1,000 into the Franklin Templeton Founding Funds mutual fund. (please see a prospectus before investing, consider all risks, and realize that I am not soliciting you here.) On the day I step into office, everyone on that day who is 40 or younger will no longer pay social security or receive social security. Lets do the math before you hate me.

First, you need to know that 15.5% of your income is paid into SS each pay period. Eliminating this give you more paycheck and your employer more profit. AWESOME! It also encourages self employment as the ridiculous “self employment tax” goes away and small entrepreneurs can flourish without the threat of the government looming over them. This will increase the job market massively.

Without the gouge of social security taxes, we could easily raise the minimum wage to $10 without sacrifice on the part of the employer. I hate the minimum wage concept, but need to support it to get elected by those who choose to live on it. So, if you vote for me I will give you more money. But seriously, if you work for minimum wage, figure out how to make more. That is just a starting point not designed to be your ending wage in life.



Eliminate the capital gains tax. There is so much capital sitting on the sidelines both in cash, stocks, and real estate but people won’t move it because our population is tax averse. Capital would pour into the economy and US investment back into the US would flourish.
There are lots of other things we can do, but these basic ones will get us
going like never before.

US Security.

I am afraid of terrorism. I want a place where my children’s children can flourish without fear. There are some things we should do right away to counter these threats.

Quadruple the funding of the CIA, NSA, FBI and other counter-terrorism groups. Once we recognize that these guys want to kill you and your family and your pets, it will be okay to strike back in a way that they have never seen. The CIA and others will go back to being clandestine organizations without all the public scrutiny.

Drill on our own lands and tell the Saudis to “piss off”. Alaska, we are sacrificing the caribou to our local zoo and we are going to create new drilling programs as well as R & D, alternative fuel sources, refining, etc. We will incent fuel savings, etc in all areas including autos, airlines, homes, manufacturing, etc. We will have a goal of being completely energy independent by 2017 when my daughter graduates high school.

Refine military procedures where terrorist cells are concerned. Strike forces should be enough to wipe out these groups.

Complete reform of immigration. If you want to kill us, you stay home. Eliminate Visa programs of known terrorist groups.

Health Care.

Allow HSA accounts for every citizen. The government is not supposed to provide your health insurance or your car insurance or any other type of insurance that is personal in nature.
Ease FDA scrutiny on drug research to a degree. I am not sure how much, but I will hire some experts to tell me how to make drugs cheaper in the US. Otherwise, we will open kiosks and Mexican internet sites so US citizens can buy drugs as cheaply as the rest of the world.

Create a senior citizen drug guideline for drug companies and pharmacies to follow. There aren’t many easy answers here so I will hire the smartest people I can find to help me figure out a workable solution. Our over 65 population has paid a great price for America and we need a workable plan for this group where health care and prescriptions are concerned.
Create a stop-loss guideline for all uninsured that can be implemented by major health care companies. Perhaps a $10,000 deductible plan with a prescription card that could be easily obtained by individuals regardless of health care condition. If the healthy half of the 45 million uninsureds were participating, we could afford within the realms of compassionate capitalism to insure the non healthy as well. Start education EARLY in life about purchasing HSA lifetime accounts.

Education:

1. Abolish the NEA. It is not found anywhere in the constitution where the federal government is responsible for local education. I am for massively strong education programs, just not funded or authorized by the federal government. All such activities will be delegated to the states and will not be an issue of the federal government. We are 50 United States, not One Central Government. Think about it.

2. Abolish all funding for Arts and Education. Now before you lynch me, think about the constitutional call of the Federal Government. Nowhere are they called to do Arts and Education. That belongs on a state or local level. I love art, I love education. I even love Art Education. But it belongs on the local level. Anyone who currently works for the Federal Government in an education capacity will be unemployed on the day after I take office.

Military
1. Immediately increase all pay grades by 30% for active duty military.
2. Immediately increase all pay grades for military retirees commensurate with inflation with a 10 year look-back.
3. Strengthen military retirement and health care benefits
4. Increase military recruitment in colleges. With the new pay raises, we can get some bright people to go kill our enemies. We need to treat the military like the heroes they are.
5. Hire Bill Gates as a special ambassador to the military and have Microsoft technicians create new military devices. Lets use technology to make our world safer AND increase the playing of solitare around the globe.





6. Social:

Eliminate all federally funded abortions. That is not the job of the government. If you want to kill your child or someone’s grandchild, that is between you and God, but don’t ask the government to pay for it.
Because it is the job of the Government to protect people, we will institute massive education on what abortion actually is, how it works, what it looks like, and the possible outcomes. We will also provide massive education on other options such as adoption.

Reinstate the Presidents Council On Fitness. I am too fat and so are many Americans. Let’s get healthy so we can pay taxes longer.

Create Term Limits for congress. Eight years and you are done. Say goodnight Ted.
Make Congress abide by the same health care and retirement plans all the other government employees enjoy. Nothing special for these guys.

Raise the speed limit to 95 on I-10 towards El Paso and on I-40 towards New Mexico.

Find out if there really is a carburetor that delivers 100 mpg and put it on all cars. If GM and the oil companies are holding out on us, let’s bash them. If this is a myth, lets all buy Exxon stock and get rich together.

Consumer Safety. Increase funding to make sure US products and imported products are safe for US citizens. Every year we will make the CEO of every company that does business near a river or lake take and drink 16 ounces of the affluent water near their factory. Take care of the land.

Create delicious entrees from the endangered species list. Seriously, the cow would never have survived on its own had it not been so delicious. Once we make the spotted tree lizard into a delicious entrée, we will let capitalism figure out how to make them thrive.

Illegal Immigration. I don’t know what to do here, but we will study it together and come up with the right answer.

Gun Control: It is a person’s right to own guns and it should always be that way.

DWI: If you get a 4th DWI, you lose your license forever. Get a bicycle. Maybe we do this at the 3rd DWI. If you are a Congressman, you get two strikes and you are out of a car and out of office.


For now, this is my platform. The United States is a blessed country and I am proud to be a citizen. I am perhaps too brash to become the president on my own, but I believe that we must do what’s right, and do it all the time.

My background: I have screwed up more times than any human on the face of the earth. If it is wrong, I probably have done it. I never did drugs or alcohol, but I have messed up in so many other ways that it all equals out. But the cool thing is that is why you have to be pretty old to run for President. I don’t mind that Obama used drugs, or that Hillary married Bill. To each his own. At this point in life, we are old enough and mature enough to recognize the call of duty, and to perform that duty. I wanna be the President of The United States. My campaign budget is $14.95 per month I pay AOL for internet service and I won’t spend a dime beyond that. I don’t need your money to become president. You keep it, you invest it for yourself and your kids. Use your money to get out of debt or to help someone needy.

I figure it takes about 30,000,000 votes to get elected. I can count 5 votes here in Austin, so we are getting closer.

Oh, my running mate. Hmmmmm, Not sure. Probably Alan Keyes. Now that is a bright dude! Hey Alan, if you read this and want to help me change the world, please email me at cashgolf@aol.com. I can’t call you as it would put me over budget.

Cash Matthews