Tonight as I sat at Johnny Carinos Italian Restaurant it occured to me that I may be approaching "middle age".  My wife was too busy to cook dinner so I was on my own tonight and set out on a journey that, in my best deep-radio voice, could only be described as "one man's journey from youth to adult hood in just 13 tortelinis.  
I gotta tell you, I was totally self aware during dinner.  There were two young girls at the bar to my left.  A king size titanium girdle couldn't have helped me this evening.  I looked over just in time to get a glimpse of them NOT looking at me.  Just for safety's sake, I "sucked in my gut" in case they were in need of some serious eye candy.  What really hit me the most bluntly was that I was reading the Sears and Roebuck Tool Catelog during dinner.  Actually, I found it quite compelling and I am now ready to order a welding machine and a house size generator to go with my 987 piece Craftsman kit.  Tools are cool. If you are 46. 
This is where I got a little older.  Look at me, a 46 year old chubby guy sitting alone, reading the Sears catalog.  It didn't even have a bra section.  All that I was missing were the bermuda shorts with knee high blue socks jumping out of my white leather shoes complete with a gold buckle.  Perhaps I am destined for Florida at an early age.  Tonight I felt old.  And a little bit alone.  I gotta get me one of those wratchet sets. 
I often wonder if the daily pressure to keep things going affects others like it does me.  Everyone experiences it I am sure, but few react to it.  How do you keep things going in the right direction?  Am I living a marginal life?  Is any of this making a difference?  I think I am going to re-read "Purpose Driven Life" and see if I missed a section or something.  Perhaps it is just the way it goes in December. 
Tomorrow is my mothers birthday.  She would have been 67.
 
 
 
1 comment:
Awwww, Cash. Being older is a blessing. God has given you extra days to let His Light shine. You are a blessing and each day any of us are on the top side of the dirt is a great day! Being on the under side would be indescribably (sp) better, but each day we are here can be greeted with enthusiasm. I wonder if those girls at the bar look at themselves and feel blue about life. We all do at times. I'm sorry you felt a bit down. As to the question of a marginal life, no Christian has a marginal life. Each day is packed with potential. Check out my blog to hear my housekeeper's amazing story from yesterday.
Here's a hug! Call us next time you want to go to Carinos. That's my little Princess' favorite place. :)
Hugs, M
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